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Posts Tagged ‘mess’

Shhh…. I should be doing housework. But after a few halfhearted attempts I have given up. In the aftermath of birthday celebrations my (extremely small) house looks like a Toys ‘R’ Us, complete with the hyperactive child, harried looking parent and the evoctive smell of sick and wee.

We have a ball-pool. We have TWO play tents and a tunnel. We have a pirate-ship shaped helium balloon three times the size of it’s recipient. And we have several hundred toys that all play different annoyingly shrill sounds and/or songs. Pre-Kai we were always that smug childless couple who gleefully picked out the largest most irritating toy to bequeath on their friend’s offspring. I think it’s safe to say they’ve successfully got their own back.

When phoning our house at the mo you’d be mistaken for thinking you’d accidentally interrupted some kind of farm yard massacre. On a building site. Next to a railway line. With emergency service back-up. Interspersed with the profound and inspirational insights of Thomas the Tank Engine (“Number 1 always comes first”) and Small Digger Man #2 (“Let’s get DIGGING!!) you may also hear the soft thump thump thump as I bang my head repeatedly against the wall.

The fact that the toy manufacturers of most of these toys have mercilessly omitted an off switch is possibly the most concrete proof for the existence of the Devil (and so God) that I have ever come across. Can I hear you say ‘Ei I Ei I Oh?’

In addition to the new toys we also have, of course, THE TRIKE (assembled by AN ADULT of course – with absolutely no swearing whatsoever). Idol of worship, adoration and excitement. The most well received birthday present by a one year old in possibly the history of time. The epic tale of this boy’s love for his bike will no doubt be the stuff of poetry, ballads and multi-million dollar movies for centuries to come. If he had the strength, Kai would certainly have carried it up to bed with him for his nap just now and fallen asleep with his head nestled lovingly on it’s well assembled plastic seat.

When buying said trike however I forgot that we do not have a garage or a shed or any other kind of outside storage apart from a falling down out-house that is already full of washing machine. So we may have to start putting the trike in Kai’s bed cause to be honest I’m don’t know where the hell else we are going to keep it. Or the ball pool. Or the tents. Or the pushchair. Oh or the sand and water table – did I mention that one?

Sitting here and surveying the carnage I’m thinking some kind of Ikea-esque self assembly storage solution type jobby may be in order. Or possibly a new house.

Or a bonfire.

I shall leave you with some photos from Kai’s birthday celebrations, which I’m sure everyone who played some part in it would agree, broke all records for fun, excitement and pirate-related mayhem.

It’s been fab. Just a rather consumerist, halving the living space of my house kind of fab.

Has anyone got any aspirin?

birthday montage

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