I wasn’t particularly popular at school (it’s ok ex-school mate readers, you can nod in agreement).
I was also clever, but not THAT clever. Average clever. (More nods).
But I wanted to be both. Desperately.
I existed on the periphery of the more elitist social groups. Kind of cool by association but obviously not cool, especially when trying to be cool (emphatic nods – ok you can stop now, I get the point). Occasionally one of the more charismatic members would notice I was there and grant me the privilege of their company for a while. Probably mostly out of pity.
I’m finding blogging a bit like this.
There are the popular blogs. They are shiny and polished. Their followers are dedicated, leaving scores of adoring comments. And there are the clever blogs. With their witty and flawless sentence construction; their outstanding use of metaphor and impressive vocabulary. They entertain us with the flare of (insert clever metaphor #1 here). Some are, quite annoyingly, both popular AND clever.
My blog is neither.
But I find myself wishing it was.
Once again I find myself back in the high school mind-set, that awkward teenager with braces on my teeth and milk-bottle bottom lenses in my glasses. Wondering just what it is that makes these shining beacons of blogginess naturally so much better than me? What makes people flock to them like (insert clever metaphor #2 here)?
But then I remember I’m not in high school anymore. I grew up (well, kind of). The braces are gone. The specs are gone. Ok I’m still awkward and gangly but that’s endearing, or so my husband tells me.
So I’ve decided. I’m not going to try to be popular or clever. Because if the same rules apply as when I was a teenager that will only inevitably mean I end up saying something weird and inappropriate and laughing too loud and everyone will look at me funny.
And I’m going to try not to care.
TOO much.
So I hope you like un-popular and un-clever. Because that’s all you’re going find here. But hopefully I’ll be endearingly awkward and socially inept and you’ll love me in that ‘I’d miss you if you weren’t here to bask in my light’ kinda way. And if you want to invite me to your party, or share some of your chips over lunch and tell me a secret you haven’t told anyone else? Well that would be good too…
…and by the way I think your shoes are the coolest thing I have ever seen and that boy you like has TOTALLY been looking at you all through Maths.
———–
NOTES:
Possible clever metaphors
#1 a) a thousand glittering iphones.
b) a jewel beetle’s bum.
c) David Cameron
#2 a) a fat kid to cake.
b) Kai to dangerous electrical equipment.
c) Boy racers in pimped-out Renault Clios to a McDonald’s drive-through
Oh I give up.
Just saw you on BMB and loved your post. Very funny. Don’t worry about a thing – you’re up there with the shiny ones
x
I know *exactly* what you mean. I made the mistake of signing up with technorati.com where I found I was ranked 3,400,000,000th. There were blogs penned by evil dead cat robots that got more traffic than mine. I grew despondent and surly. “Stupid blogging!” I shouted to the world.
A friend of mine put it to me this way: either I start trying to tap more in to popular zeitgeist stuff to increase my readership (e.g. write about “So You Think You Can Dance?” or “Twilight”) or I just write about whatever the hell I like and accept that I’ll have a (very) small but ever-so-slightly dedicated following.
So I’ve resigned myself to not being one of the Popular Kids but one of the secretly cool ones in the corner just doin’ my own thang…
I wasn’t clever OR in with the cool girls at high school. It was a girls’ school and I could never get back-combing down the art that was required for entry into the cool clique.
In fact, when I was 15, I got kicked out of school. I feel this speaks volumes about my subsequent life path.
Oh my… ok it’s time for some praise.
1) I find your posts very precious and way clever.
2) I find your posts very honest and very funny.
3) I find your posts open and welcoming.
Why do you want (need) to be shiny and popular?! Popular means reaching out to a maximum of people. So it let me say right away, that it cant be introspective or talking about the no-so-cool-at-times reality, really. Pop & glam isn’t like that, but then it empty and often disappointing and superficial.
I had no idea blogs were being compared. why do blogs need to compete?!? It’s ridiculous.
The things that are precious in life, to me, is to be able to connect with people who can talk about themselves without hiding behind some pressure to be cool.
But then let’s not live in oblivion. You think because you are cool, your self worth and your life is better? All famous and very popular people also have issues. Worse they may have the pressure to maintain their success and have to wear the winning attitude. Their fame could be all they can think about, because it became what values their identity and reason to be. They can be very self centered. What does it to you? not much. You certainly don’t feel appreciated, because they don’t care, unless it makes them cool to like you. yurk. And you don’t want to people to be interested in you because it serves their own interest first, do you? okay that’s way more general than blogs.
but seriously, think of artists. you can create music (or writing) to please most people and then latter give what your fans want. You sell yourself out. Or you can be yourself, what you really are, and then some people may like, some may not. but what you compose is true to you.
As far as I am concerned, there are some blogs I cant read cpl. yawn. Some others are very compelling, like yours. I feel a lot closer to you than, say perez hilton?
Now you may wonder what screwed up marginal people I am. Well, I wasn’t the most popular all the times. I’ve had phases. I’ve known both. but It happens that I’m smart & don’t need to be popular (anymore) to feel good about myself. maybe that’s the secret.
Okay ‘nuf said.
Cheers !
[...] my teens either on crutches or hobling round like a granny with a walking stick (did wonders for my high-school cool factor I can tell you), and most of my early twenties in a wheelchair, confined to bed or sofa for most of [...]
How much do I know what you mean? I also had a conversation with my husband the other day about how much the blogosphere can sometimes feel like a playground and I’m the new kid on the block. His response was not to worry if noone saved me a seat in Latin which wasn’t all that helpful.
Anyway, Potty Mummy sent me over here, and I like what I see. Do you mind if we hang out together? For a bit? If I’m not too uncool? That would be ever so great.
PS – hope you feel better soon, that sounds like misery!
Also here from potty mummy’s place and really enjoyed reading your posts and you are very good at metaphores
i too was neither popular, neither cool, and totally picture what you are talking about!
Do you mind if like brit in Bosnia I stay around and follow?
I would LOVE to hang out!!
Come back soon…. I promise I’ll save you a seat! x
[...] my blogging at the moment. First we had a post about my average accomplishments, then it was my average blog, and today, well, today I want to talk about average [...]
Just saw your comment on BMM so came on over. Glad you’re keeping blogging. It can’t be fun to be so popular right? popular = pressure. lol I like what you do here. So many people read but don’t post. We’re all too busy. Don’t take it personally.:)
Glad I stopped by. Nice to meet you.